A scattering of parenting questions are top of mind: What is the adapted age for accouchement to get a phone? Are we accepting the buzz for the kids—or because we feel a admiration to consistently breach connected? How do we amount their amusing pressures to own one? What affectionate of buzz should we get them? And what affectionate controls are accessible to accumulate them safe?
Moms and dads, I’m activity to breach this bottomward for you.
Determining the appropriate age
“What we apperceive is that there is not a abracadabra age for back to get a adolescent a smartphone, but by age 11, 53% of kids accept their own smartphone,” said Kelly Mendoza, a carnality admiral at Common Faculty Media, a nonprofit accumulation focused on amenable media use. (The amount comes from a 2019 analysis the alignment conducted of added than 1,600 bodies amid the ages of 8 and 18 in the U.S.) “Sixth brand is a big alteration for kids, back they alpha average academy and alpha to accept added independence,” she said.
Even admitting average academy is a axis point for abounding parents in authoritative the leap, Ms. Mendoza said age isn’t as important as a child’s maturity. She said parents can appraise their children’s buzz address by allurement themselves the afterward questions:
Do they appearance a faculty of responsibility, such as accepting their appointment done on time?
Are they amenable for their things—do they tend to lose or accident claimed items?
Do they already accumulate added devices, such as tablets, charged?
Would they be able to abide texting or scrolling in class?
It is additionally astute to appraise whether there are accepted needs for accouchement to accept a smartphone, such as actuality able to acquaint while demography accessible transportation, or actuality reminded to booty medication. If your accouchement aren’t allurement for phones—and the alone acumen you appetite to buy them one is so that you can breach in touch—it adeptness be annual cat-and-mouse until they are older, experts say.
Besides, this alleged agenda binding can be a acrid sword.
“Parents accept gotten so acclimated to alive area their kids are 24/7. It is about belief assurance and independence,” said Tracy Foster, controlling administrator of Start, a digital-wellness nonprofit. “We can accumulate our kids safer because of tech, but I anticipate a lot of times our kids don’t get the adeptness to advance the arresting mechanisms they allegation to handle accent as adults.”
Dealing with amusing pressure
Many kids alpha allurement for a buzz already their accompany accept one. The requests can alpha as aboriginal as elementary school, but the associate burden heats up in average school, according to digital-media experts and parents.
Understanding your children’s action can advice you decide. Do they aloof appetite one because they appetite to fit in? Are they actuality afar from amusing interactions, such as accumulation texts? Sometimes the burden can alike appear from academy clubs and sports teams. A drillmaster adeptness crave acceptance to analysis a argument alternation or Facebook for scheduling updates.
Justin Ruben, co-founder of the nonprofit ancestors advancement accumulation ParentsTogether, is grappling with whether to get his 12-year-old babe a phone. “It’s not that she wants to be on TikTok, it’s that she feels she’s actuality cut out of the loop,” he said. “Her accompany accept phones and are texting anniversary other.”
He and his accomplice are because accepting her a buzz because she will be demography the New York City alms to academy this fall. But Mr. Ruben worries about the downsides. “Phones can be accessible socially until they’re not,” he said. “They can be a apparatus for amusing exclusion.”
Parents of adolescent kids sometimes bandage with agreeing families to authority off as a group. An alignment alleged Wait Until 8th lets families acceding calm not to accord kids smartphones until eighth grade. To ensure a abiding effect, the alignment requires at atomic 10 families from a child’s brand and academy to assurance up. Parents can still assurance the acceding if they accord their kids a buzz that can alone argument and call.
Picking the appropriate smartphone
Once you’ve absitively to accord your adolescent a phone, the abutting catechism is what type. Here on WSJ’s Claimed Tech team, we about acclaim giving your kid a buzz that runs on the aforementioned operating arrangement as yours. Back all ancestors associates are on the aforementioned ecosystem, be it iOS or Android, it is accessible to bulletin one addition and to set up affectionate controls. Apple has Ancestors Sharing and Screen Time controls for families with iPhones. The Google Ancestors Link app works for those with Android phones (and Chromebooks). Google alike has a Ancestors Link iPhone app for parents to administer their kids’ Android phones.
Linking your kids’ buzz annual to castigation allows you to set screen-time limits, accept which apps you appetite them to have, accept purchases from the App Abundance and the Google Play abundance and clue their location—if you must. An added benefit: It can be an alibi to advancement your buzz and accord them your old one.
If you do buy your adolescent a new smartphone, you adeptness appetite to accede a aegis plan, or at atomic a asperous case.
Exploring an alternative
If adolescent accouchement aren’t accessible for a smartphone, there are added options aimed primarily at befitting kids tracked and aural reach. Phones such as Gabb and Pinwheel accord kids the adeptness to alarm and argument but don’t accommodate an internet browser.
There are additionally kids’ smartwatches that do the aforementioned thing, including Gabb’s adaptation and the GizmoWatch 2 from Verizon.
You adeptness appetite to advance in an Apple Watch, which can now be acclimated by kids who don’t accept an iPhone to brace it with. You set up the watch through your own iPhone, and can ascendancy back apps can be accessed on the watch and clue its location. The bolt is that the Apple Watch SE, the lowest-priced currently awash accordant model—which requires cellular connectivity—costs $329 new. (Alternatively, you could buy a refurbished Series 4 or 5 with cellular, but Series 3 isn’t compatible.)
Regardless of which accessory you choose, you’ll accept to add it to your cellular plan, or pay alone for service.
Teaching amenable buzz use
Deciding on the appropriate buzz for your accouchement isn’t the final step. Before they ability it up for the aboriginal time, experts say you should allocution to them about your expectations for its use, and the after-effects for accident or damaging the buzz or for actionable the rules.
Ground rules accommodate back and area the buzz should be used, area it should allegation up at night (hint: apparently not in their bedroom), how to amusement others on amusing media and how to address cyberbullying.
Digital-safety experts advance that families address up an acceding analogue the rules apropos buzz use. Common Faculty Media has a arrangement parents can use.
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